Boys: Societal expectations exist for a reason..

Ok…So, at the risk of sounding redundant, I met this guy (2 days ago, at the always classy Dark Horse…). For whatever reason, my favorite opening line is quickly becoming “Hi, you’re cute!” Call me tactless, but I would choose to consider myself direct and straight forward—my methods save time and energy that could be allocated otherwise.  So far it has worked out well.

Anywhoooo…He asked me to grab a drink with him and a couple friends, and so I brought a friend as well.  We got to the meeting place, and he had a girl with him?  Call me old fashioned, but if you ask a girl to meet up for drinks and you’re interested in her, you should proooobably not bring another girl with you.  And pay for her drinks.  And drive her home.  And then call me expecting to hang out.  Just sayin…  I am a major fan of unconventional dating approaches, but when they appear in the form of a female 3rd wheel on what was supposed to be a date, I'm going to wish you two the best.  For the sake of pointing out the obvious (or so I thought), I’m just going to go out on a limb and say that’s not ok. 


Apprehensive about your courting approaches,


Salli   

...Have YOU met us? Well....have you?

To the AMish:

Monday evenings at Dark Horse is a sad sad scene. Aging party animals, older couples, the occasional young person that may be able to hold a legit conversation. But after only a few seconds, it’s impossible to ignore the vibrations and distinct beat insistently traveling from your feet through to your heart. It’s five bucks each to follow your gut to the basement of Dark Horse. This last night, Salli and I only had eight bucks total, with about $1.39 in change. The bouncers were lovely and turned down our change, and accepted our measly $8. Immediately, it’s obvious that 89% of the fun people in the Highlands are dancing to karaoke graced by a live band. It’s worth saving your pennies. It’s an semi-underground ambiguously hipster (does that mean they’re true hipsters? How ironic) crowd. A lot of people we met were either musicians or graduate students at Emory or Tech. It seemed like a more mature crowd that had their heads on straight, which was surprisingly refreshing. Just a warning, you can’t buy pitchers downstairs. Karaoke starts at 10 and lasts until 2amish (after re-reading this, I’ve realized I need to clarify. I’m not suggested that the party goes ‘to Amish’ but rather to two in the morning, ish)

(12/3 Footnote: Two of our girlfriends visited Dark Horse recently on a Monday, and actually claimed that there were more people of better quality upstairs than there were downstairs. So try it out yourself. Explore.) 

Always adventuring, 

June

We prefer nice people.

Both Salli and I are recent college graduates. She stayed in her home state and attended her state university. I ventured out of state and graduated from a small liberal arts college. I’ve realized that my alma mater, lets call it Aloha College (that sounds fun), really provided me with a skewed view of what the ‘real world’ was like. Being such a small school, everybody knew everybody, and every bit of dirt and rumor about them. Consequently, on a rare occasion, when one did meet somebody new, all you had to do was turn to the person to your right and then Bam, you knew whether or not they could be trusted, who they’ve slept with, and what kind of social economic background they originated from. It was strangely and fictionally bizarre. Since we’ve begun meeting truck loads of people, I’ve realized that I really don’t know anything about these people. Sometimes we’ve invited them into our homes, sometime’s we’ve given them rides, sometimes we’ll end up at someone’s apartment. Although this is very normal for a socially active single, the idea that these people could figuratively fuck you over, it is a bit unnerving.

Be careful out there… I know that I am naïve, trust easily and love quickly (not necessarily romantically, but just in general). It’s very rare that I’m not with a wingwoman (unless I’m hiding behind a book at the Porter or Brick Store), which acts like one of those huge foam bicycle helmets that special little kids wear to keep you from unwillingly cracking your brain on some boy’s bed frame. (Graphic much?)

Yours truly,

June

Seduce me with your proper tense

I think grammar is sexy. I should clarify, I think having good grammar is sexy. Good quality writing in general can make all the difference regarding attractiveness. Even in a casual setting, such as text messaging and facebook wall-posting, paying attention to what and how you write is imperative and will make or break an impression.

An edgy, beanie-wearing fellow approached me on the dance floor at Graveyard on Saturday (Nov 14). He was attractive and seemed harmless, so we danced. I was there with one of my best friends from college, NoPantsMan, and I didn’t want to abandon him, so I after a song or two, I politely excused myself. He insisted that he get my phone number. Again, I obliged. Here’s the following text messaging conversation:

Nov 14, 2010 2:33 AM Beanie: “You are too sexy says yer boy Beanie”

Nov 14, 2010, 9:21 AM June: “Oh you’re sweet! Thank you! Hope you had a good time last night.”

Nov 14, 2010 4:58PM Beanie: “Oh yes.  a good time was had. should chill soon good lookin”

Nov 15, 2010 9:33PM Beanie: “Junie g, wanna go grab somethin to drink?”

Nov 15, 2010 9:35 June: “I would, but I’ve been in class since 1:30 and I just got out… And I pulled an all nighter last night…hah”

Nov 15, 2010 9:37 Beanie: “damn, sounds intense.”

Nov 15, 2010 9:40 June: “Welcome to the next two years of my life. I’ll see you then?”

Nov 15, 2010 9:50 Beanie: “Yeah, give me a shout”

Obviously he thought I was kidding. Get back to me in 2 years, Beanie.

Junee 

Drinks from older guys...again

So, this one night, we were at this really cool (and cheap!!) bar in the Highlands called Moes and Joes.  We sat down at the bar, and shortly after, began conversing with a couple of men sitting next to us.  They were very nice and easy to talk to, but abooouuut 30 years older than us—>June and I have different estimations of their age, but I think she just doesn’t realize how hard the 60s were on some people..

Anywhooo, they grabbed the bartender's attention and asked what we would like to drink.  Caught off guard, but not being complete nitwits, we accepted their offer (for the record, I would advise getting something cheaper than craft beers, as you then feel more obligated to stick around...).  We chatted with them for a while. But soon we realized that was not our wisest decision, and when I got up to go to the bathroom, June followed because she “feared” I was getting “sick”.  *By the way, we still actually feel horrible for pulling that stunt—they were very nice.* But as we leaned against the wall in the back of the bar, figuring out what our next move was, we caught the attention of a table of guys we had been eyeing earlier.  They asked us what we were doing, and we briefly explained.  They invited to sit down with them, and introduced themselves.  They were all fairly good-looking guys.  Southern and youthful.  We talked to a handful of them for a bit, and then decided to call it a night.  I gave my number to the guy I was talking to, and June gave a scrap of paper with her number on it to the guy she was talking to.  Within the time it took for us to walk home, I had a text from my new friend, Moe lets call him.  He was a good guy—a fun one to talk to.  We shall see if he can stick around a little longer…

Eat More Thai Food

I am not a bold person. At least I didn’t use to be. The first time I met Salli, I was immediately blown away by her gutsiness. She was so confident and sure of herself. If it didn’t work in her favor, who cares? If you’re at all timid or shy when meeting guys, you need to take a page from her book. Actually, just take the whole chapter.

But last night! Last night I was gutsy, and loved it. And it actually worked in my favor! I was at a local Thai restaurant in Decatur called Noodle with an good friend/ ex. I’ve only been to noodle a couple of times, but both times, I couldn’t help but notice the pleasant selection of dream boats that work there. This particular night was no different. Our waiter was as spicy as my succulent noodle dish; lets call him Pad (See Ew). I knew that it looked like I was on a date of some sort, and I knew that this was pretty much unavoidable. Also, since I was eating with an ex, I didn’t want to be completely disrespectful and make a move in front of him. Right before we left, my full-bladdered friend made a trip to the loo. I took this opportunity to leave a note inviting Pad out with Salli and I later tonight, and left my number. Maybe you’re super bold and ballsy (and I would like to express my true admiration to you), but it was so exhilarating! After leaving my slightly charming note that contained ten digits with my signed check, I hustled out of the restaurant without looking back. While on the phone with Salli, trying to determine if it would be a Hand in Hand night or a MJQ night, I heard the familiar iPhone ding signifying an incoming text. It was Pad! Really—my heart fluttered! I could feel the excitement pumping madly through my veins. Not only had he received the note, but he texted me…ME! We ended up meeting at Hand in Hand after his shift. It was a familiar place that if anything did go horribly wrong, I would have the trusty and lovely bartenders to back me up. (Bartenders at Hand in Hand: You are amazing and I love you with all of my liver fibers.) Pad was absolutely wonderful, and had a lot of things surprisingly in common. He loved the note and thought that it was uniquely ballsy.

Bottom line: Girlies of Atlanta, boys eat that shit up. Do it. You have nothing to lose. What’s the worst that can happen? It’s aggressive without putting your pride on the line. Think about how many strangers we exchange smiles with, subtly flirt with and regretfully not pursue. This has to stop. This sounds cliché, but you’re special, and if you have a hunch, go with it. I don’t know what’s going to happen next with Pad, but if nothing else, I have a great new friend in a big new city. That’s what it’s all about right? Oh, and eat more Thai food.

Ballsy,

June

Have you met us??

(12/20 Post Fact Footnote: A randomly met guy could end up being your unique, personalized, and monogrammed knight in shining armor on whatever animal of your choosing, OR (spoiler alert) he could end up being completely pathetic and rude a couple of weeks down the road. Proceed with caution in every situation, but always be open to adventure and possibility. AKA THIS GUY TURNED OUT TO BE DANGEROUSLY MANIACAL. be careful, always.)

Sunday!

They call it Sunday Funday for a reason. And on this particular Sunday, I was wearing a particularly fuzzy sweater that may or may not have resembled a children’s WWF sweater (no, not the wrestling organization). On this evening, we hit up Hand’s $4 dollar pitcher night and dollar fish tacos (!!!) and then mosied over to Noche. Apparently older men love touching the fuzzy sweaters. One fellow found us, bought us a couple dollar XXs, touched the sweater and turned out to have a likeable personality. He had a solid job at a major media company here in Atlanta (you have one guess), a cheeky sense of humor, and although he was no Anderson Cooper (Anderson is pretty much Salli’s Harry), he had a trusting and kind face. Now, all of these characteristics are typically ideal and lovely in a fellow, but regrettably, he may have been about ten years too old for me. We’ve found Noche to typically be a haven for older men or classier couples that are looking to escape the typical bar scene…while still trying to be in the bar scene. And they have dollar XXs on Sundays…and $3 cocktails on Fridays and Saturdays.

Dollar beers may or may not buy cheap/ meaningful conversation,

June

The Most Memorable Unrememberable night

This was a bad night. Maybe one of my worst. Although I had had a drink or two, I was not drunk. In fact, of all the nights to remember, I am extremely upset that this occurred… to the point where I don’t really want to talk about it.  The good news, is that I learned my lesson and never ever ever ever again will make such an obviously bad decision. 

Regretfully,
June

Rough sex does not mean you should wake up looking like a battered housewife

There’s sweet, loving sex, and then there’s the adventurous, rough sex. Two of the many kinds of sex. Both are good. Both are great, actually. But different times call for different kinds of sex. When a girl, ahem, claims she likes it rough, please do not attempt to chew off her extremities. 


Thank you. 

As you were,

June

Have you met us? 

Hand Cuffs?

Mondays are my hard days—I have my hardest classes that span from 1:30 until 9:30pm. To be frank, it blows. And I pretty much work my Italian tush off Friday, Saturday and Sunday, leading up to this tremendous Monday mother load of work. Anywho, Monday night? I’m hungry and ready to consume some sort of liquid that’ll probably eat away at my liver, slowly but surely. But hey, I’m young and I’m living on fumes. It’s wonderful. Salli and I first meet up at Smiths Olde Bar. If it’s not a Friday, Saturday or Sunday (go Steelers!), then it’s pretty much filled with older homosexual men. Immediately sensing the lack of potential male interaction, we mosey over to Hand in Hand, where the waiters know our drinks and our most absurd stories. You can’t go wrong at Hand in Hand. We take two steps inside the door, and immediately a young man approaches us, introduces himself and invites us to join his group. It’s his friend’s thirtieth birthday, and I’m having trouble detecting the amount of alcohol that had been consumed. It’s either not enough, or entirely way too much. After playing 20 questions to figure out what they do for a living, we find out that the whole lot of them are…wait for it, wait for it…Cops. These guys have forever changed my impression of Georgia cops, definitely for the better. After picking their brains about GA law, we relaxed some, and it became another successful S&J night. Of course, we ended up hanging out with Marion, Carlos and Matt, the beautiful bartenders at Hand in Hand.

Go to Hand in Hand, befriend the staff, and you will be happy forever. 

love,

june 

and have you met us?

Boo!

On Halloween, you’ll meet all sorts: KISS’s drummer, strong man, bananas, the kid from a Christmas Story. I happened to meet Wolverine. I’m not really a fan of Marvel comics, but I admired his hand made claws, and we chatted about physics. I’m not sure if he remembers me, but his lips were quite aggressive. With an ex-boyfriend within eyesight, I was trying to keep it civil. He was really quite cute, and I hope to hear from him.

It’s always Hand in Hand isn’t it? These bartenders know all of our secrets, adventures as well as things that I’m not even sure we know. I’m so thankful it’s become our local watering hole.

Pancakin' around,

June :) 
__________________________________________________________

TFLN S & J style (in my opinion, they are in opposite order of importance..HAH)..

J:“I called so many people whose numbers I don’t know.  I woke up in some stranger’s bed.  Don’t know his name.  Lost my bra, id, credit cards, camera, etc.  Fml.”

J: ”Please tell me you’re alive somewhere.”

J: ”Okay—should I be concerned? I think I need to be concerned.”

J: “Hey! Are you hungry?”

P.s.—June is still pissed about the bra..

Hungover and yes, June, I am hungry,

Salli